Sonntag, 31.01.2010 16:54 Uhr
Ines Kistenbrügger Sabet

Co-Workers at the Gym?

I have strict rules. Usually, I am nice to my coworkers but do not treat them as friends. Even though, I might want to hang out with them, go out for an occasional beer, I am usually more distant at work and do not necessarily share my life stories with them.

In most cases it makes me uncomfortable if they ask how I spent my weekend and what I do during holidays. Nevertheless, I talk about these things. I like chatting with coworkers and I like even more when we all just hang out during lunch hour and talk about random stuff.

I personally hate when I meet coworkers at the Gym. This is my me time, I do not want them to see me redfaced and sweaty. I do not even want to see my regular friends at the Gym (unless when working out together). And I freaked out two days ago when I saw a group of four coworkers hanging out at my new Gym. I hid in a corner, quickly ran as planned and I left in a hurry. I did not even shower. I am seriously playing with the idea to switch the Gym if this is a recurring problem. But that is just me.

Some people are fairly close at work, but never do anything outside of work. They tell each other any- and everything, but once they head home they do not share their time. Maybe an occasional text message, maybe an Email...

Out of this fine line the concept of "work day husband and wife" has evolved. I do not necessarily buy into that concept. Yes, there might be one coworker you like more than others, and yes, you might spend more time with your coworker than with your actual spouse... but husband and wife? To me that is one line crossed. And even if it is just jokingly said, there might be the one or other person hurt. Be it other colleagues who feel left out or be it your spouse who all over sudden has some kind of unexpected competition.

My rule is to never play favorites. Not at work. If you want a career you need to learn how to let friends be friends and work be work. You can have your friends at work, however, if you spend your time chatting about your last weekend adventures and love life way too often you might leave that one lasting impression you better not. People have a tendency to remember you at your worst more so than at your best. Therefore, in front of your boss keep your personal life a little bit more hidden. Give him or her facts, some stories, but leave the juicy or questionable parts out.

Do I have friends that I work with?

For certain.

Do I enjoy working with friends?

Most definitely.

Could I work in an environment where everyone kept their personal life a secret?

Well, only if I really needed the money.

However, in all these thoughts, there is just one thing I can say. Work friends are different from other friends as you have to keep them at a certain distance. You need to trust your coworking friends more than others. Just so you can be sure they won't carry any details into your worklife you want nobody else to know about. And you need to trust them that they won't take any job related decision personally.

As usual things are easy to plan out and lines are easily determined, however, rules can be broken and must be broken. Sometimes you just meet the ONE at work. Wether it is a good friend or a life partner. Then this is what it is. Just do not expect everyone and everybody to be good for you. Be clever and smart about your choices.

As for me, I am now married for over 5 years to a (now former) coworker. And I never regretted it. Rules are there to be broken when the time is right. But only when the time and circumstances are right.

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